Let’s not beat about the bush: Revenge of the Fallen is a typically rushed licensed game intended to coincide with an awful motion picture that shamelessly rapes your fondest childhood memories. It does the very bare minimum to be considered competent and very tiny else. It’s been crafted solely to sucker money out of impressionable kids, and it’s going to make millions of dollars.
It’s a licensed movie game and it doesn’t try to be anything more. I could, and should, just leave it at that, but we’ve got to at least pretend we’re writing a review that someone gives a crap about, so let’s soldier on and fool ourselves into thinking this piece of writing is even vaguely relevant, shall we? Read on as we review, for some reason, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Xbox 360 [reviewed], PS3, PS2, Computer, Wii)
Developer: Luxoflux
Publisher: Activision
Released: July 30, 2009
MSRP: $59.99 [360] $49.99 [Wii]
The first thing that’s wrong with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is that it’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. That means it’s based on Michael Bay’s latest travesty where Starscream sounds like Orson Welles for no good reason and Megatron is a slave to some mysterious and half-baked new robot that nobody in their right mind should care about. Also, there is no Megan Fox outside of one brief photograph of her face in this game — this automatically removes the one and only reason to give a shit about this game.
Whatever plot there’s supposed to be, it’s barely existent. Between stages, the robots speak at each other about garbage that barely makes any sense, and what few cutscenes exist are rubbish and lazy. There are two campaigns for either the Autobots or the Decepticons. I got as far as the Devastator boss battle before declaring I’d had enough of the Autobots, but I did finish the entire Decepticon campaign and it took barely more than an hour or two. There’s value for money right there.
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